After a few hits, your screen will flash red and you’ll be near death. Even on just normal difficulty, Duke Nukem cannot last very long in a firefight. While a move to the recharging health is acceptable, the weakness of Duke is not. The only exploration comes in the form of bathrooms, where you can earn some Ego points – the game’s rechargeable health system. Use a turret to kill a group of enemies, move forward. Shoot another group of enemies, move forward. The entire game can be summed up as: shoot group of enemies, move forward. Duke Nukem Forever is about as linear as you can get. Remember all the exploring you did in Duke Nukem 3D, finding all the hidden areas containing keycards or goodies/weapons? That is long gone here. At the same time, other characters will act like pansies and say things such as “now you made me sound like an ass in front of Duke Nukem!” It comes across a bit too corny as everyone worships you while at the same time telling you what to do. Yes, that’s right, apparently Duke Nukem takes orders now. They mostly consist of you walking around and listening to some characters who you don’t care about give you orders. What’s far worse is the unskippable cutscenes. Here, Duke is a bit more vocal, but most of what he says are single sentence catchphrases such as “I AM the backup!” or “Take your pills…er…vitamins every day and you might grow up to be as awesome as me.” Some of these are worth a chuckle, but for the most part you can see The Duke’s lines coming from a mile away. There weren’t cutscenes, and Duke was mostly a passive character, with the occasional quip about his appearance or what a stripper should shake. DN3D had a very light story – alien bastards shot Duke’s ride out of the sky, and he went on a rampage, thus saving the planet in the process. At least the pipe bombs and laser trip mines have made appearances, right? Well, you can only carry four of them at a time, which is another disappointment.Īnother odd decision here is having a heavier emphasis on story in Duke Nukem Forever. The pistol is nearly useless, and should not occupy one of your two precious weapons slots unless you are absolutely out of options. Whereas in DN3D you could decimate a large area with a single blast of the rocket launcher, here it only seems to cause moderate local damage. The shotgun definitely does major damage up close, but even the rocket launcher seems stifled. Speaking of the weapons, most of them seem pretty paltry compared to the punch they packed back in the DN3D days. This is Duke Nukem we’re talking about! What happened to being able to pile on the weapons and ammo as in Duke Nukem 3D? That decision is really perplexing. For starters, you can only carry two weapons at any one time. Most of this game really does not feel like a Duke Nukem game. One rather ironic line is uttered early on by the President of the United States when explaining that he does not want Duke to intervene with the aliens, since no shots have been fired yet: “Duke, you’re a relic from a different era.” This could not ring any truer when it comes to DNF. It’s easily the best part of the game, which is an unfortunate situation to find The King in. The game pans out to reveal you were actually playing a game within the game as Duke Nukem, while he is being…serviced…by two women in schoolgirl outfits. It’s a fun fight, and feels a lot like the Duke Nukem we all have fond memories of. When the cyclops is down for the count, you have to rush over to him in order to kick his eye through one of the uprights on the field. You’re given the badass Devastator weapon, which is a dual rocket launcher. The game begins with essentially a redone version of one of the most memorable bosses of Duke Nukem 3D – a cyclops on a football field.
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